I will never trust again. I don’t trust you. How could you violate my trust like that. I trust you. How do I know I can trust you?
We talk about it, “You can trust me”, we say to one another. There are times where we allow ourselves to hand over our trust, and comes back to bite us. “How could I have been so stupid to trust them?!”, it happens to the wisest of us. It isn’t tangible, you can’t go to a “trust store” and purchase a box of it. But you can it in see partners, siblings, friends the dynamic between them is powerful and in their interactions you can see how one completely relies on the other without pause. Once that is broken how can we trust again?
Betrayal of this kind takes its toll on each of us differently. Some may shrug it off and go on to the next experience, others may withdraw from ever handing that over to someone ever again.
It is painful to see someone who has been betrayed so many times. That look in their eyes, the caution they take when opening up, the sheepish manner in which they smile – all a product of the aguish they have had to experience. They take great efforts to close themselves off in order to protect against further damage. The pain they live with manifests itself in different ways, often hurting those around them and themselves. How does someone become able to trust again? To expose themselves to further injury?
There are good people out there, worthy of your trust and confidence. Some are easy to miss, they have been through what you are going through and are guarded as well. You just have to be wiser for the experiences that life has presented to you, it is necessary for these encounters to occur so that your tool box stays sharp and you can see them before they see you.
Sometimes I ask, why trust someone that has already shown you who they really are? They have lied, cheated, and stolen from others and from you, why give them any of you time, let alone your guard. People show you who they really are, you have to be willing to see it. Be wise about who you allow to receive the privilege of your trust and observe how they are to others. You will have a few experiences with having your trust broken, once you get better at discerning you will be able to spot them in a crowd. Find the positive and the take away lesson in all of your hardships.
Why should I trust again? Seems like a reasonable question, considering the fact that you are still recovering from the last time or times you have ventured out and given someone your trust. The answer is hard and it is something I still struggle with (so we are all in this together), you can’t stay secluded forever. You are taking away from your life, your joy, your peace and what is developing is a hardening of your heart. You get so lost in the betrayal that you don’t see the many beautiful things that are right in front of you.
There is a reason I picked the picture up above, it spoke to me about trust. The ship continues to sail across the sea, waves crashing against it, giant creatures floating underneath, the weather beating it from up above – yet it holds steady through the rough waters, it stays afloat. The captain steers her through the tides, he trusts his vessel and the vessel trusts her captain to steer her to a safe dock.
Hence, I want you to be the captain of your life. Your ship is going to stay afloat, steer it cautiously and gently as you look for the right port of call to dock in. You may hit a rock or two, but that is all part of learning how to steer better.
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