@ShashaSelflove 7/21/15 Wants and Needs


I need you in my life. I want you in my life. I have to have those shoes. I need a drink. I want a new job. I need a miracle right now. I want to have a baby. I need to spend some time with my family. I want to curse them out right now.

There is a different between what you want and what you need. We have a tendency to misconstrue the two, quite often we place the thing we want over the thing we need. It takes real insight and reflection to separate the two, by which identifying your needs becomes clearer.

So what do you need? And why? We have to take moment, step back from the chaos that is going on around us. Whether it be morning traffic or a hostile work environment, you have to look at your life from a third person prospective. If you were that third person, what would you say about the way that your life is going? What would you say about what that person is doing right or wrong?

We all need stability, have the steps you have taken added or taken away from your emotion, physical, psychological, or financial stability? We add things to our lives that either bring good or bad. Do you truly “need” that particular person in your life? I have heard many a time, “That young man needs to get that girl out of his life!”,  the person commenting could have no idea what she is talking about or she could be right on point. Truth is, sifting what you want from what you need is hard. It is comfortable to live from a place on complacency, far more difficult to live from a place of defy.

We all need a peaceful center, what is creating noise around you? Noise isn’t a loud radio, it is what could be distracting you from your goals, what is luring you away from your focus, what is creating tension or conflict. Noise can be completely silent yet be deafening.

Shut it down, I said it, shut it all down. Let’s stop BSing ourselves.

That negative friend who is always bring the mood down, spend less time with them – you don’t need any more negativity than what you already have. That boyfriend/girlfriend who doesn’t really feel like your boyfriend/girlfriend (more like a burden, a downer, an irritation, a cheater, a liar) because their actions have already told you how they really feel about you. You don’t need them, you need someone who is going to lift you and rise with you, not drag you down. Anything that disturbs your center, is creating noise in your life, and noise can keep you from so many positive endeavors in your life.

And then there is pain, has holding onto pain made your life better or bitter? It is necessary to experience pain in your life, mostly because of the lessons it provides. There is a lot to be learned – to love better, to be patient, to be faithful and to forgive yourself. But holding on to the pain that others have inflicted on you or you have inflicted on yourself is only going to harden you. I am never 100% sure why people hold onto that pain, I submit it may be from guilt or regret. Guilt from a transgression or regret of not doing things differently, but that is in the past and we all have to forgive ourselves and learn from our errors. Holding on is a form of denying the lesson, in that case you will continue to repeat your mistakes – causing further pain, further isolation, further torture. Let go of the pain, let it seep from you mind, heart, and soul, allow yourself the opportunity to breathe clearly, sleep peacefully and be beautiful again. Don’t we all need that?

Not sure how to end this one, no one ever expects to get wisdom from the Rolling Stones, all I can say is – Big Hug, we are in this together!

Follow on Twitter @ShashaSelflove


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