This day in age we do whatever we want, we don’t need permission to live, work, buy, move, sell or purchase – we have the money to move about as we wish and how dare anyone give us permission to do anything. But there are certain aspects of our lives that no amount of money can resolve, that no purchase can satisfy.
You have that thought in the back of your head – more than a thought it is more like a dilemma. You forget about it and then when it gets very quiet it creeps back up from your subconscience to the first and only thing on your mind. It lights up like the Hollywood sign and when you register what it is, you slap yourself on the thigh (happens to me all the time) it is a real “damn it” moment. So you get busy again, it recedes to the dark attic of your brain and you forget. Or at least you think you have. It sits there, crouching down, festering.
Let it climb back up, allow yourself to be occupied by the issue that your have been running away from all this time, welcome it back into your conscience and prepare yourself to resolve it once and for all. Naming your adversary is one thing, however facing it head on is a completely different fight altogether. But how much longer are you going to go with this weighing on your mind? How many times are you going to slap yourself on the thigh and scream “damn it” while driving? How many relationships are you going to ruin by not resolving this issue? You could be causing your own demise and your own loneliness and not even realize it. The more quiet you get with the occupation of this thought, the more you alienate those who are not aware of your inner turmoil but love you enough to want to support you. Don’t lose those people, they see your pain and they hurt for you, they want to soothe you in those dark moments – but eventually you will hurt them in the effort of evading that lingering live wire.
I give you permission to let it go, give yourself permission as well. You are allowed to find resolve to what batters you, you are not always meant to suffer – you deserve to have your love corresponded to. That person that didn’t value you or your gifts has to be put behind you. You have to forgive yourself for holding onto this for so long but you have to take it down. Bring it to the forefront, unwrap it, unravel it in front of you and call it by its name – this is where you leave this. So no matter who has hurt you or how many you have been hurt, let it go. No matter what that dark thought is that you attempt to smother in your quiet moments, it is time to allow yourself to overcome it and be able to fully live again.
It isn’t easy, we are all in this together. Big hug!
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