@ShashaSelflove 10/27/15 Plant and Prune


We plant seeds, with the hope that they will one day flourish into a beautiful landscape of blossom and life. Between seed and bloom there is a long journey.

I would argue (mostly with myself) that planting a connection with someone is more than just the introduction, it is more than the handshake, and there is an investment of time and nurturing the relationship between the two of you.

As the connection builds you figure out if this is worth your investment and how. Yes, there are some interactions that will seem frivolous to you – but they have their worth if only for entertainment. Others are in our lives to leave a hard impression, to spin us around and slam us into the floor – they serve their purpose as well. And there are encounters that aren’t meant to be in your life for a long time, if only for a strong lesson, but sometimes we try to keep them in our lives after their expiration date.

After you take an honest look at the tree that is your life, are there opportunities to prune your tree. Acknowledge the fact that it took you so much work to plant, so much effort to grow, so much faith to hope – why allow someone to hang around your tree if their sole purpose is to poison the roots and make you lose branches.

When the challenge comes your way, who will truly be by your side? Don’t fool yourself into thinking that those that are constantly absent and absent minded about you are suddenly going to spring out of the phone booth and come to your rescue. They haven’t fooled you, they have shown you exactly what they are about.  Why keep them around at all?

Staying positive during the realization of who is truly there for you and who is not is a painful process. Sometimes it comes all at once, you awake to see more than a few people in your life need to go. Draw strength from the goodbye, feel confident in the cut, let the assurance that their season in your life has ended and that you have walked away with the lesson they have given you. No matter how painful the separation that aching has to convert itself into the energy you need to go on.

Pruning those that are not in your life is just like pruning a bonsai tree. They take forever to grow, cultivate and keep. So are friends, when taking the shears and cutting the branches the sculptor takes great pain to ensure that each cut is purposeful and does not hurt the rest of the tree, he checks to see if a branch that may not be visible may be part of the greater structure of the tree.  As you cut, you are the sculptor, you may have people around you that you haven’t seen in years – but pick up the phone and no time or space has passed, it is like you never lost touch.  That isn’t who I am talking about, I am talking about the person in your life that is only around for their needs, for their convenience, for their purpose and when you need something – they disappear.  Just like in the fall the leaves fall to the ground, be at peace with these people falling away from you.

I keep my freshly sharpened shears handy if you ever need to borrow them, get trimming! Big hug!

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10 thoughts on “@ShashaSelflove 10/27/15 Plant and Prune

  1. So delighted to find your blog………lovely words and thoughts , great
    inspiration to be mindful of the precious lives we live ( thank you).It is so
    important to treat ourselves with the care responsibility you speak of, to
    be certain we are not giving away our ‘life force’ to those who are all too
    willing to drain us to our bottom. As I get older, I am more aware of this
    and a bit better about recognizing when this is the case, I love being at the
    point in my life that this kind of relationship does not need to end in a
    dramatic burst of conflict, but an inner nod or bow and a respectable
    departure on my part .I also think it is o.k. if our family/friend tree looks a
    bit ‘Charlie Brownish’, less branches perhaps but beauty and strength
    and good will in every one of them. Blessings to you and your fine words
    and mind!

    1. I agree! I love that you mentioned the Charlie Brown tree, mone looks like that and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Thanks so much for the comment!

  2. I almost stopped reading because this speaks to me so heavily. Ugh. I needed to read this. I am usually the one trying to save the dead branches and leaves. Thank you!

  3. This is exactly what I was thinking the other night. It’s hard to count on people nowadays, but those hanful of souls who you know got your back, well, they got your back. The rest are just there to watch the show. Great post.

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