You are that person, the one that so many come to for help, guidance, love, compassion, empathy and confession.
There are those of us that find great joy in being “the giver” maybe because there is satisfaction in knowing that you have the ability to help someone or perhaps you are able to share your wisdom after all of the hardship you have experienced first hand. You give of your knowledge and are thankful for your experience because when you give you have a sense of preventing them from having to suffer what you have. As fruitful as the giver may be, there are two responsibilities to be taken into account. The giver must remember to give themselves self care and the receiver must not always be the constant beneficiary.
Self care is vital to all of us and there is no guilt in taking some time to tend to your own wounds. When you have enough of them, you learn to ignore the pain and blaze on, but that can leave some nasty scars. Tend to yourself, sleep in an extra hour, get that super mango avocado clay mask at the spa, or better yet – give yourself some time without giving. Allow yourself to receive, surprise someone when you inform them that you feel challenged. Take stock of who you are surrounded by, don’t trick yourself into thinking that you are always the one that has to step up to the plate every time those people are in trouble. Because then you go from assisting people to enabling them, and that isn’t helping them at all.
Give importance to those that are joyfully around you because they value the person that you are and what you have to offer, even if they never come to you for help, they value the fact that if they ever asked – you would be there for them. They aren’t maintaining a relationship with you because they want from you, they respect you. Part of self care is making sure that those that surround you care for you as well.
Being a giver is a careful balance of giving and receiving. Acknowledging that if you fail to keep a healthy balance you will become exhausted and no longer be able to share your gift with anyone. Bring yourself back to center, meditate, get comfortable with receiving, allow for some quiet time and I send a Big Hug!
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