@ShashaSelflove 11/19/15 I Miss You


Photo Credit: My Phone

You let it slip out of your mouth, “I miss you” words that come from deep within – the knowing that you have stayed up late staring into the ceiling longing for them to be by your side. You have thought of them while walking down the street and as you smile with the memory of them you realize you look crazy, smiling and walking on the sidewalk and alone, you also realize that the empty, “I miss you too”, are just words in an vacant polite reply. They see your longing, wanting to have more – but they don’t feel the same and don’t know how or don’t want to let you down.

Every time you walk away from them your heart races and instead of them helping fill the void – there is a sense that they are helping make the void bigger. They are taking for granted that you have sacrificed some pride in return for a tiny morsel of their attention.

Why are you making yourself available to someone that doesn’t care if you are available to them? They don’t value your gift, the offer of love and devotion that you have set aside for them, but yet you are still there, gift in hand and the door firmly slammed in your face. You won’t be responded to the way you deserve, deep down inside you may already know that but on the surface you want to deny the harsh truth. They don’t want you, they aren’t perfect for you,  they are prefect to someone else.  You are as well.

You are worthy of someone that sees your gifts even when you are hiding them. You are worthy of honest love and friendship.  You are worthy of someone being the one saying, “I miss you”, first. Don’t confuse living a positive life in living a life of “someday”, “some day they will change or come around”, no – living a positive life is one based in reality. Stop making fantasies for the future and start being honest with yourself today. In very few instances do those that don’t value you all of a sudden have an epiphany about who you are and what you are worth. Move on, keep forward in your journey and accept the lesson they have given you – which if you haven’t noticed is to place yourself in a place of value. If you don’t,  you will not only continue to be around people who don’t notice you but you will lose yourself so much that you will look in the mirror and say, “I miss you”.

Don’t lose yourself in false hope, we want the connection so bad that we attempt to see it even when it is clear that it isn’t there. Stop wincing your eyes, don’t adjust your glasses – although you may be seeking their emotional investment in you, they aren’t seeking the same.

Easy to say, hard to do, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But we are talking about self love, so brace yourself. You can do this…Big hug!

Follow on Twitter & IG @ShashaSelflove and on WorldPress @ShashaSelflove

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25 thoughts on “@ShashaSelflove 11/19/15 I Miss You

    1. Olaoluwabiola, I pray that this is a moment of reflection, not offense. What I write is with the best of intentions. Big hug and deep breaths, you are made of amazing stuff and you will get through this.

      1. I like the ‘big hug’ part (I could kill for that right about now mehn!) Relating to this post wasn’t so difficult, for obvious reasons. It’s all good though. We’d all be fine in the end.. Or so we think. Keep writing, I’d read.. Always.

    1. Thanks cristinaburcus, I was not going to publish it at allllllll…didn’t think I should…but it is to late for that now, it is done!

      1. It is actually amazing! And…I’m a person that searched for myself for the longest time and for the longest time I suffered in silence and always did what made others happy! So yes, I can relate to this and I’m sure many other people do as well! ❤️❤️❤️

      2. No more suffering , that isn’t going to help you help others. My intention, from the beginning, was to help 1 person with my blog. There is something about the shared human experience that makes the blow softer. But when it comes to matters of the heart, it is always tough. I pray that with my ranting I have helped 1 person.

  1. I always wonder why they ( we, adults, I’m referring to I guess) don’t have
    these kind of conversations with young people as they begin cutting their
    teeth on the new found world of relationships. Instead of…” go to

    college”, ” join the army”, “What are you going to do in life”….how about” let’s learn the importance of giving love and receiving love in a healthy
    way” Wonder if this would spare some years of heartache. Don’t you think everyone, at any age, wants to learn more about ” true” love? Very fine post, Shasha!

    1. Sorry it took so long for me to reply. I had to think about it, I guess we get so caught up with achieving some financial security in life that we forget about our emotional security. There are so many with great jobs and they are so miserable. I think that all ages want to learn about true love, heartache is a part of the search. Once we are wise enough to understand that, we are on our way. Thanks for the comment!

  2. thanks for the follow. After reading a couple posts, I have returned the favor. This one was very well done and very much needed this evening. 🙂 thank you for posting this.

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