@ShashaSelflove 1/05/16 Uncomfortable


I say it to the people I work with everyday, stay uncomfortable. It is so easy to just carry on and stay in the space that you have nestled into. But there is so much more and it is all yours to discover.

I get that there are certain aspects of your life where you need to feel comfortable, your bed, that one pair of jeans, a small collection of friends and your finances. Yes, not every facet of your life has to be in flux or change, but when it comes to a number of goals staying uncomfortable keeps us in movement, hyper aware of the opportunities that are available and constantly investing in our preparation. Staying uncomfortable means that there is no room for complacency.

Complacency is uncritical satisfaction, ouch (I know, right). To look on the surface and nod, knowing that there is so much that can be done to improve, expand, clean up and correct. It is easy, but only makes things harder in the long run. Unaddressed needs bubble up to the surface in a myriad of manifestations. From poor interpersonal relationships to depression, suicide, alcoholism and so much more – when our life has become stuck at a certain facet all the other facets rear end each other, causing bumper to bumper pile up on the highway of our lives. Just like any collision, police are called (interventions), insurance information is exchanged (solutions) and the cars are taken to the body shop (recovery). Being complacent seems harmless when you look at in the short term, but over time it is detrimental to all areas of your life.

So I am uncomfortable with my life? So now what? We have to identify what is making us so uneasy, what is it that is keeping us up at night, what is making you so cranky? I will share (a don’t like to but I had to), a little under two years ago I gave my issue a name – after being complacent about my weight I realized that it was causing a lot more issues than it was worth. Two herniated discs, a  trip every other month to a “plus size” store where everything is more expensive (and another size bigger), pain in my knees, social ostracizing, rampant diabetes in my family, no sleep and other issues caused me to put an end to it all. I reached out for help, got a trainer and a nutritionist – received expert care and advice from sources that acquired my trust. I am not done, but I am 120 pounds down and I am still uncomfortable. I had to deal with my own personal pile up that my weight had caused in my life. It has taken countless hours at the gym and facing my demons, but I am finally at a place where I know that I can never be comfortable again. And I couldn’t be more thrilled.

What do you need to get uncomfortable about? It is going to take a lot of energy and effort to name it and then come up with a plan. Once you get through that part and start to actively tackle what needs to be addressed, you will start to see many parts of your life become peaceful. Is it your job or that people you keep in or out of your life? Has the side effect of not resolving this matter made you angry? Lonely? Bitter? Frustrated? It is time to look at the pile up and figure out a way to resolve it. Take the blinders off and look at what is really going on with you and around you. Yes, it has been going on for a while – that doesn’t mean it has to continue. Yes, you have invested a lot of effort and money into where you are today, but now is the time to invest into something that fulfills you in more than one way.

Stay positive, stay honest with yourself. This is going to be hard, but the compensation is well worth the effort you are embarking on. I will be rooting for you! Big Hug!

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10 thoughts on “@ShashaSelflove 1/05/16 Uncomfortable

  1. Reblogged this on International Gay Guide To Asia & Cambodia and commented:
    I’m sorry Hong Kongers, but this porridge gem of yours deserves to be shared widely! Surrounded by only Cantonese from a diverse background, some elderly spotted was clad in their home clothes, while others consist of the average salaryman who was suited up smartly in his jacket; and they were all simply downing a warm comforting bowl of flavourful porridge. Zhong Kee Porridge 忠記粥品 could indeed be the place to visit for a good bowl of local porridge.

  2. What we resist persists. Congratulations on taking charge of your health! (See my pom poms waving wildly **) When we are emotionally uncomfortable by challenging ourselves to look inward instead of outward, our look at the outside world begins to change as we change our inside world. We need to trust ourselves, respect our needs, accept what we can change and love ourselves for doing it. I only started to truly feel I was alive and living my life in an exhilarating way when I was able to look at all in my life that made me uncomfortable. It was at that point I realized that fear of change and challenge was actually not comfort but a quiet, desperate restlessness just below the surface. To find the real peace within, do the work, cull the people and obligations in your life that are not fulfilling, become a self care flag waiver and never look back. Good post!

    1. Christina, thank you so much! On my hard days, I will remember the pom poms! Self care is self love and we have to push ourselves out of those situations that hold us down! Life is so awesome, why not enjoy it?! Hugs!

  3. The hardest part for me about loosing a lot of weight has been dealing with the reason I used food as my drug of choice, and why I was numbing myself. Congratulations! I look forward to hearing about your internal metaporphasis during your weight loss journey. PS Thank you for following my blog.

      1. Hey there my friend. Thanks for sharing your story. Great commentary! You had me meditating on your thoughts and how pungent they hit close to home. As a pilot, I’ve spent a ton f hours and sacrifice to get here and yet they had to be more to life. Thank for helping me keep the faith.

      2. Hello there my dear! I am so thrilled that this spoke to you, I know that you are looking to change things up and I am cheering you on! I wish you all the very best, you are going to rock!

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