Why does jealousy exist? It confuses me to no end. For what is a blessing to one person is a curse for another. Assuming that your life would be so much better if you acquired what another has sounds like treachery. But this concept of usurping what someone else has is a tale as old as time itself, it is complex in explaining the motives for certain behavior but it is simple to make yourself aware of how it is so unnecessary.
The subject came up, two men and one woman. Easy to explain, right? One man was in a relationship with the woman and became instantly jealous of a new male neighbor, he confronts the man – but the male neighbor isn’t in a relationship with him, the woman is. As long as things are clear and understood between the two people in the relationship, what is the issue? He begins to harass the woman, call her more often, follow her around and even checks her phone to no end. The woman feels harassed, pressured and overcompensates so that her partner understands her fidelity. But he doesn’t, he is no longer rational and in his effort to keep her away from the male neighbor, he pushes her away. Jealousy is a toxic element that will take away the one thing that you are trying to control, we may not be aware of and it manifests in many areas of our lives.
It seems illogical to be to be jealous of someone because of their age or physical attributes, if they are 20 years younger or because they are being recognized for their work. Yet, it happens all the time, so how do you stay positive when you are on the receiving end of this? It is so very hard, at the end of the day – it truly has nothing to do with you – but it is somehow made into your issue. You could have had great reviews for your hard work or worn a cool new leather jacket to the office. That one coworker is sitting in their seat, stewing at the praise and attention you are receiving. You worked hard, you bought the leather jacket or even better you aren’t miserable sitting there stewing at other people’s good day. And that makes that person miserable, they create tension in the office, they make everyone uncomfortable with their comments and their own behavior puts into question the motives of their actions towards everyone. Their jealousy breeds negativity, discord and rumor.
A few things with that: Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive, it will take their breath away. If someone doesn’t like you and still watches everything that you do, they are a fan – let them sit in the audience and never allow them onto your stage. Don’t allow their bitterness kill your joy, your shine is a light to others who appreciate and value it, don’t allow their attempt to reflect their issues on you affect you. Smile, breathe deeply and center yourself. Remind yourself that you are not gifted, you are a hard worker that is making things happen and building yourself on a solid foundation. You aren’t perfect but you are attempting to make the best of a situation that is bigger than you and has nothing to do with you. Someone who is jealous of you either sees you as a threat, hates themselves, or wants to be you. A lot of us may make the mistake of unconsciencely taking ownership of what the person is attempting to inflict on you, out of pity or to see if you can help them. It isn’t your situation to fix and don’t stay quiet – inform them that you are onto them and are going to address them if needed. And then, move on. They will either set their targets on someone else or quietly attempt to sabotage you again, be vigilant and keep tabs.
Continue to be the go-getter and persevere through what ever it is that you are dealing with so that you can resolve issues in your own life. Continue to stay positive and wish people that are around you well, don’t allow the person that has negative issues stop you from staying positive. Don’t feel guilty about rocking a hard hustle, if you work hard you are deserving of being rewarded for your efforts – regardless of who it upsets. I am going through this and I am sure many others are as well. I send to you what I need myself…Big Hug!
A very special thanks to Marlene, you guys are always listening – Thank you!
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