Photo Credit: Pinterest, Alex Stoddard
I have been sitting in my doctor’s office for about an hour, staring at this picture. I still can’t tell if she is trying to pull out the arrows or if she is plunging them into his back. I think about certain people I have in my life now and how I have shown so many from my past the door. Hence, it all comes down to being a good study of who you have around you and what intentions they have towards you. Why are they in your life? Why are you keeping them around?
At times you will need to turn to a friend, when life gets harder than usual, when you are attempting to figure out a solution to a difficult issues or for reassurance when you make a difficult decision. That person you have called “friend” can be that support that you need, but when the going gets rough who sticks around to make sure you are ok? Who is there to listen? Who is there to help and who is there to critize? It is no news (it shouldn’t be) what I am about to inform you of – which is that I need you to evaluate who you have around you because they may not be true friends. Like the woman in the picture above, are the people you keep around shoving the arrow further into your back?
You are on your journey, fighting battles large and small, it is the help of loyal and faithful friends that help you pull through. It can be something as simple as calling you and sharing a belly laugh or going out for a drink, those moments ease you of the weariness of your path. Getting to your goals is exhausting sometimes and checking in with a friend is all we need to keep going. But when the person you turn to is toxic you don’t find relief, instead the weight on your shoulders becomes heavier and you didn’t even notice it. You think you have gotten some solace from their words, from their company or their advice – but in truth you step away with your boots a little heavier. You trusted that their embrace was to alleviate but it was just to dig that arrow further in.
The friend that is pulling out the arrow is helpful, they tend to your wound and see to it that you recover from the attack you experienced. There is nothing wrong with receiving help to pull the arrows out of your back. That help sometimes comes from the person that you least expect it or from the person that has always been a friend to you. Those moments can help bond a friendship or tear it completely apart.
Why? Well there is the third friend, the one that told you the arrows were flying in your direction and gave you a heads up. You come to the realization that one “friend” has been digging in the arrow further into your back, the other saw it happening and shrugged knowing that they would come in to help clean up the aftermath and the third – to me the real friend, saw the storm coming towards you and helped shield you, helped get you prepared and stood by your side. Call me crazy, but that is a true friend.
It is about the intention that people have towards you, they see something in you that they want to capture, some don’t want to share in your smile – they want to take it away completely. The ownness is on you to check them at the door, like a highly trained “life bouncer” you are checking for motives like you are checking ID’s. Anyone that doesn’t clear your checking process, you don’t allow in your life. It won’t be as quick as checking a driver’s license – you sit, talk, listen and observe. They will show you their intentions and what category of friend they truly are. Allow those that aren’t checking out to be checked out from your life, don’t be afraid to have a small group of friends – those that make it into “Club You” are definitely worth your time and trust. It won’t be easy but you have to be discriminating with those that it are worth your investment. Big Hug!
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