@ShashaSelflove 2/23/16 Intentions


Photo Credit: Pinterest, Alex Stoddard

I have been sitting in my doctor’s office for about an hour, staring at this picture. I still can’t tell if she is trying to pull out the arrows or if she is plunging them into his back. I think about certain people I have in my life now and how I have shown so many from my past the door. Hence, it all comes down to being a good study of who you have around you and what intentions they have towards you. Why are they in your life? Why are you keeping them around?

At times you will need to turn to a friend, when life gets harder than usual,  when you are attempting to figure out a solution to a difficult issues or for reassurance when you make a difficult decision.  That person you have called “friend” can be that support that you need, but when the going gets rough who sticks around to make sure you are ok? Who is there to listen? Who is there to help and who is there to critize? It is no news (it shouldn’t be) what I am about to inform you of – which is that I need you to evaluate who you have around you because they may not be true friends. Like the woman in the picture above, are the people you keep around shoving the arrow further into your back?

You are on your journey, fighting battles large and small, it is the help of loyal and faithful friends that help you pull through. It can be something as simple as calling you and sharing a belly laugh or going out for a drink, those moments ease you of the weariness of your path. Getting to your goals is exhausting sometimes and checking in with a friend is all we need to keep going. But when the person you turn to is toxic you don’t find relief, instead the weight on your shoulders becomes heavier and you didn’t even notice it. You think  you have gotten some solace from their words, from their company or their advice – but in truth you step away with your boots a little heavier. You trusted that their embrace was to alleviate but it was just to dig that arrow further in.

The friend that is pulling out the arrow is helpful, they tend to your wound and see to it that you recover from the attack you experienced. There is nothing wrong with receiving help to pull the arrows out of your back. That help sometimes comes from the person that you least expect it or from the person that has always been a friend to you. Those moments can help bond a friendship or tear it completely apart.

Why? Well there is the third friend, the one that told you the arrows were flying in your direction and gave you a heads up. You come to the realization that one “friend” has been digging in the arrow further into your back, the other saw it happening and shrugged knowing that they would come in to help clean up the aftermath and the third – to me the real friend, saw the storm coming towards you and helped shield you, helped get you prepared and stood by your side. Call me crazy, but that is a true friend.

It is about the intention that people have towards you, they see something in you that they want to capture, some don’t want to share in your smile – they want to take it away completely. The ownness is on you to check them at the door, like a highly trained “life bouncer” you are checking for motives like you are checking ID’s. Anyone that doesn’t clear your checking process, you don’t allow in your life. It won’t be as quick as checking a driver’s license – you sit, talk, listen and observe. They will show you their intentions and what category of friend they truly are. Allow those that aren’t checking out to be checked out from your life, don’t be afraid to have a small group of friends – those that make it into “Club You” are definitely worth your time and trust. It won’t be easy but you have to be discriminating with those that it are worth your investment. Big Hug!

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20 thoughts on “@ShashaSelflove 2/23/16 Intentions

  1. That picture was so compelling! I don’t know how long I stared at it before I did a search and found it. The artist is Alex Stoddard and the image is called “St Valentine.” https://www.flickr.com/photos/alex-stoddard/16196307610 Thank you for sharing it!

    I agree with basically everything you said here. Yes, you have to be vigilant regarding who you allow into your self. I’ve had to show people the door, also, including relatives. It’s not easy. But the breathing is easier now.

    Big hug back! 🙂

    1. Thanks for looking that up, I was looking for it myself and I couldn’t find it. It is hard to walk people out of your life, but very much needed. We cannot walk around with so many burdens, we have enough on our plate – we shouldn’t sign up for more abuse. We have to check the intentions of those that are around us and try to get close to us. When we raise our gaze, we realize that we are worthy of better. Big hug right back!

    1. Paws, doesn’t it feel better?! I know I did the same thing, it just hit me one day, “I could just walk away”, a huge weight was lifted and life has been better! Take care!

    1. Thanks for you comment Eye, listen we all have room for improve. I know that I am one of those people that needs to make more time for the people in my life. I try my best to be a good friend, but I can always be better. We are all a work in progress, building a better you! Take care!

  2. Excellent post, very thought provoking. When I first saw the picture and started reading, my only view was that she was being his support and pulling the arrows out….but you make a great counter-point that the ones we sometimes turn to can be more harmful and inflict more pain. And that’s the thing with toxic relationships, we often fail to see them for what they truly are.

    1. Mike, no more rose colored glasses, we have to keep healthy people around us so that we can cultivate a healthy life and healthy relationships. We can’t have negativity weighing us down, bad friendships will kill your good vibes.

  3. Just read an article on a study by a person who can measure energy within a person( long story), and claims that the positive energy of one can counterbalance the most negative energy that floats through the world. I think this may be true, however, they also pointed out how ‘good energy’ can be sucked away by people ( even those we consider friends) if you are not careful, we must protect ourselves and be mindful of the meaning behind true friends…..amazing that once you sort this out, you are left standing with one or two ‘tried and true’ pals, but no bother, they are worth their weight!

    1. Those around you can “suck” positive energy away from you, I have seen it happen. Self preservation is key, so I self reflection – who I keep around me is important to check and recheck. Thanks so much for your comment and sharing that info!

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