Photo Credit: David Allen davidallenblog.worldpress.com
You rolled up your sleeves and you worked so diligently, paved a hard to wear path, removed years of wear, cleared out obstacles and brought down barriers. You were fooled, you thought you were getting their and well – only to realize you cleared a way to a brick wall. Did you fool yourself or did someone assist? This is a hard one.
People will show you and tell you who they really are, most times they won’t paint themselves in such a negative light but they will show you. You (and I) see them at their potential, how great they could be and in your admiration you realize that you fell in love in what they could be – not in what they actually are. Instead of your placing a spell on them, they placed a spell on you. You know that value you have, how you are a supportive and imperfect amazing person. They didn’t see how incredible your union would be if only they would open their mind to the chance. Yet, you did and now you find yourself in the position of having to abandon the hope you so jealously guarded for them. You have to turn you back on something you would have died for, you would have proven to the world how fantastic a fit the two of you could be and you left to the air the many plans you arranged in your head. So long fickle hope, goodbye possibility and adios indentured love.
So now that you have invested so much for so long, where do you go from here? Time didn’t stand still, so did all that time just go by and went to waste? I pray not. There are a few things to do, so brace yourself – school is about to be in session.
First, rest assured that the only that you would qualify whether or not your time was wasted is by seeing what you learned. There are valuable, lifelong lessons taught when we have soul crushing, turn about moments like this. Did I see what I wanted or what was really there? Did I give, offer or was it taken? What will I do different next time? Answer those questions honestly, at the end of the day there is no value in fooling yourself.
Second, realize that hope is like your mind, you can’t see it but it is there. You are split between staying to see if the situation turns in your favor and exiting with the few shreds of you that are left. It isn’t that you are giving up; you are actually giving order to this mess. You are placing your heart and mind at ease by taking a stand and ending it. It isn’t “what could have been” anymore, it is “from what I see so far”, you have seen all the evidence, heard all the testimony, let’s convict this situation and send it to the electric chair already. Allow yourself the chance to recover and one day, when you are well enough – another opportunity. Until you let go of whatever is holding your heart and mind hostage you will never be free enough to allow another chance to come into your life.
You no longer have to be splintered like the worn and beaten wood that is in the picture, you can just come up out of the water and breath again. Big Hug!