@Shasha Selflove 6/07/16 Two Shoulders

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Photo Credit: Shasha Selflove, Watkins Glen State Park

When all seems lost, there is a sense of quiet. That silence the boxes our ears, all that exists is the ringing sound that travels from one side of your head to the other. You look around, what do you see? Cellphone, remote control, laundry, untidy bed sheets, books that you have read and the space between you and the walls. In those moments where you are torn to shreds, who is there for you?

Many times we don’t realized the resources we have until they have their hand extended towards you, pulling you out of your darkness. You sit quietly, your mind replaying every move you made and every word you said. Beating yourself up you close yourself further and further into a whirlpool of despair. You question everything you said and overthink how you could have done things different. When you are furthest into your self induced anguish I want you to think of who can you call to help you gain prospective and calm. Who is in your group that you can call, text or email that will have your back in those moments?

If you are unable to identify that person, it is time to look at the group of people you call “friends”. The truth is that we all have a social circle, regardless of personality – you have people that support and love you regardless of how many birthday parties you avoid going to. They get together with you for drinks, you see them at the occasional get together or at a family function. If you can’t identify which one of those people you can call when you are having a moment of need, then it is time to reevaluate your current circle. You are worthy of having reliable and objective people that are going to be there for you and support you through your battles.

It is an even exchange at times, you are there for them when they are there for you. Sometimes your friends have more challenges going on than you and at other times it is the other way around. But weathering each other through the storms that life showers you with is part of having strong friendships in your life. As much as you may tend to be the strong one and the support for so many, there are times when you have to render strength to someone else and ask for help. Not easy to do when you are usually the source of care for others, but there is nothing wrong with asking for help. If you are of so much support through the struggles of so many, allow yourself to be helped and tended to when you are wounded.

We often are so much to so many, we are the rock that so many stand on. If that is your purpose, that is perfectly acceptable as long as you know that you are entitled to have a moment to lean on someone. Don’t hermit into a corner and work through your struggle alone, your perspective may only give you a narrow view on your challenges.  A second set of eyes can give you a view you simply did not see and could help you figure out a different solution to the same problem. Give yourself permission to lean on the shoulders that are available to you, if you don’t know of any – start to cultivate those relationships in your life.  Big Hug!

To Ray, shoulders – I have two of them –  waiting for you!

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