Walking through, we collect items. Some of those items are shoes, photographs, experiences, heartache, scars and thoughts. Unless we are reflective, we don’t realize that we need to let go of those items. After a while, objects become heavy and start to create wear and tear on the person that is carrying them. The mental luggage that we have has a heft so dense that we are dragging it around like bad luggage that lost its wheels at the airport. It may not hurt physically, at first – but eventually the lines on your face start to show the effects. Frown lines form on your forehead or around your eyes, your weight goes up or down, dark lines form above your cheeks, your eyes lose their sparkle and your smile doesn’t seem to be able to stretch across your face. I would rather carry a bag of rocks across my back than emotional baggage in my chest – the pain is much harder to bare and there is no relief. I can put down the bag of rocks, I have no where to place my pain. So…when someone asks, “Are you okay?”, I usually answer that I am okay, but are we really?
Being reflective is hard, it makes you take inventory of what you have done right and where you are screwing up terribly. Having been informed by your brain that there are somethings that you have to address is bad news you may or may not be willing to receive and now that you know, you can’t say that you aren’t aware of those items that are weighing you down. If you continue to carry them, that is now a voluntary punishment. Why you would impose that on yourself is martyrdom for a cause that has stayed in the past.
Not only will the weight of your items arch your back under the pressure, it will strain your relationships around you. Those that love you struggle to understand why you carry a pain that is no longer yours to carry. As you grow weary from it, you will end up pushing people away – people that wholeheartedly care and love you. They will grow tired of your rejection, crankiness, confusion and misery. As much as they love you, it hurts them to see that look in your eyes. They want to help, they are rooting for you – don’t lose them.
Persevere. Please do. Vision gets blurry when your eyes are filled with tears, life is wonderfully beautiful to not see it. Try to unpack the weight you carry, salve your pains slowly and don’t repack them back into your life. The space you are clearing is for positive things to come into you life, items that will lighten your load and help you carry the heaviness. Freeing yourself of that weight will propel you to want to get rid of some more. As you lighten your load, you lighter the strain that life will become. Flowers smell better, walking feels lighter and smiling comes from the inside.
It takes a lot to conduct an honest reflective observation of yourself, you are going to see things you may not want to know. The only way you can start to resolve what pains you is being honest and calling it by its name. Hurt, anger, resentment, jealousy, insecurity, bitterness, loneliness, pride and so much more is hiding in there – you are going to be okay. Big Hug!