Why did I even choose this topic?! Well here it is, we have so many verbal interactions – most are typed these days, which email and texts limiting face to face interaction. However, we all still go to work, church or the pharmacy and interact with a human at some point or another. It has happened to most if not all of us someone starts to speak with you (or at you) and their tone or attitude towards you is such a turn off that they would have been giving you the winning lottery numbers and you can’t hear a word they are saying. Instead your defense mechanisms go into a ready position, you try to understand what is being said and it somehow translates in your brain as insults and disrespect. So your hearing is affected by the defense mode your mind has gone to and you can no longer listen when you are so enthralled in giving a response.
You either walk away, confused and insulted or you lash out and give back the disrespect you are receiving. How can you be an active participant in making this interaction better? You can’t fire your boss, right? You can’t make certain family members disappear…so what can you do with the people that aren’t going to exit your life any time soon? It is going to be hard as hell, I am speaking from current experience – but you are going to have to teach people how to communicate with you. Yup, that’s is it. It is hard, harder than pushing a mule up the side of a building – but being upset isn’t affecting anyone else but you. The person insulting you probably has no idea what they are doing either because they don’t care or no one has taken the time to inform them.
It is perfectly acceptable to show yourself respect and self love. It is also acceptable to expect that those around you treat you with respect. Your boss and coworkers don’t have to love you, there isn’t a parade when you walk through the door on Monday morning but the do have to show you respect. If you are thinking that you are not receiving the respect that you are giving – I am inviting you to address that. You will clear the air, you will hammer out some form of an agreement and move forward with no grudges.
That family member or neighbor has to be informed on how to address you, they may be taken aback but if you are diplomatic and respectful most people will respond in kind – they may even apologize.
Show yourself love, inform and demonstrate how you want to be treated by treating them with what you expect. Won’t be easy because so many of us are conditioned not to stick up for ourselves. Be encouraged, I send a big hug!