Everyday, we interact with the world – our immediate interactions are a combinations of family, friends and coworkers. Outside of that close circle are people that you don’t even know are looking back at you, wondering what you have to offer them. Here is what I want you to know: You have a right to be respected by those who you all allow in your life and you don’t have to feel guilty when you kick them out of your life for not respecting you. They didn’t feel guilty when they betrayed you.
Truth is, I don’t want individuals in my life that tell me that they respect me – I want them to show it. In that in front of me or behind my back they use the same words. That they don’t insult me by soothing me with a lie instead of hurting me with the truth.
Hence, where does that leave you? At first you will think that your only option is to shut everyone out and that way no one can disappoint you. It isn’t that simple, eventually you have to come out and check the mail.
I encourage you to truly get to know the people whom you think you can trust, they may be friends, family or coworkers. Look at how they respond when you need them to have your back, do they turn on you? Do they disappear? Or do they act justified in letting the entire bus roll over you? There is no perfect trust paradigm other than the one you create, which is one where you aren’t fooling yourself into thinking that someone who clearly doesn’t have your best interest at heart does. I cannot tell you how many times I have thought that the person standing in front of me was trustworthy, honest and wanted what was best for me. But I soon found out that the person that I had given my trust to was there fool me, just using me as part of their twisted game. The signs where there, their past behavior was evidence of the future outcomes they had to offer and still I didn’t see it. So now, I am twice as hard on those that try to get close to me, why? Because I have to be, because I trusted more than I should and now I have to be careful so this way I am not betrayed. One part lessons learned and one part life experience and two parts self preservation. This is, after all, all about self love.
I want to give a very big hug to my very good friend Diron for inspiring this post. Our friendship is the embodiment of so much respect and I am so lucky that we met! Big hugs!