It is one of those days, just took the day off. I found myself yawning and yawning, at the gym and in the middle of a conversation. Not dozing off but slightly in a hurry to end the conversation and go home.
My impatience was coming from lack of sleep and lack of quiet. There is a certain level of noise that is produced even in the middle of deep silence, it is hard to describe – it makes you uncomfortable and irritable. The tension produced gives you a sense of urgency as to what can or should happen next. That is the space I found myself in, so I worked it out and I simply took the day off.
I woke up and didn’t get out of bed right away like I do. I didn’t check the newspaper because, well…honestly have you seen the news? I took the day off because I do feel sick and I do have a doctor’s appointment, but I also needed that silence.
An old friend moved nearby about a month ago, we had made arrangements to have breakfast as she too is taking some time off. We met up and she brought her 3 year old, a little boy I had only seen when she was pregnant. Yes, work has kept me that busy. As we sat at the diner her little boy ate pancakes and served himself handsomely. Excellent table manners and his soft voice was exactly what I needed. He tried my orange marmalade that I was putting on toast and very delicately informed me that he didn’t like it. His adorable tiny hands held onto a giant fork and knife as he nibbled his food and smiled at us. Kids are so amazing that way, they can make you forget everything that is wrong and show you how little we all really are. My egg white onion omelette did not impress him at all, he stuck to what he ordered and was a happy boy. As I caught up with my friend the noise went away, the tension subsided and even my cell phone disappeared. My new 3 year old friend had his little self a huge project with his pancakes and took to pouring syrup like a grown up. I couldn’t get over him and how much I enjoyed his company.
So I took Tuesday off, so what’s the big deal? Those of us that are helpers usually don’t do anything for ourselves, when we clearly should. We go on and on, suffering physical and mental exhaustion and we just keep going. How can we help others when we need to be helped? There is no guilt in taking care of yourself, there is no judgment when you give yourself the priority and trust me you haven’t lived until you have had pancakes with a small child. What is the point of it all, take some time for yourself. Take a “mental health day” and do something you don’t make time to do, even if it seems minimal – if you keep saying, “I would love to do that if I had time”, then make the time and go do it. Work out the details and show yourself some love. Big hug!