I am no stranger to living with conditions, having been overweight my entire life made me painfully aware that many of the persons that gravitated towards me did so out of pity, self interest or curiosity. Having health issues also gave me plenty of insight about how this affects relationships, that love is conditional for some.
How can we get to a place of comfort when there are conditions placed on us in a relationship? I wonder because that has to be uncomfortable, always having to meet certain expectations and the fear of failing them.
But what about conditions that are more for you than for the person requesting it. For example, staying sober? Employed? That sounds like the requestor wants you to do better and having some successes in your life. Far different from the condition of staying at a certain weight or appearance.
If I am saying anything, I am going to go out on a limb and say that having conditions in a relationship isn’t the worst thing in the world. It can empower us to be better people, right some wrongs and stay motivated. As long as the request is with good intentions, why not have them?
The flip side is that if the request is something you just can’t do, walk away. Wisdom will tell you that the outcome of this is going to be all wrong for you. Patience will let you let go because you know something better is one it’s way.
There is only one condition, there are no conditions for self love. You are the sum total of your experiences and with that comes the wisdom that you have accumulated. If what is being requested is not something that you are comfortable with, exit the situation. You are smart enough to that something better is coming along your path. Embrace the solitude and celebrate that you made the best choice for yourself. Big hug!