It just seems like we are never right, right? I have had a bad spell, as of recent everything I do is flawed, everything I say is misconstrued and all my ideas are wrong. I start to wonder if it is me or perhaps the person that I am dealing with. See, it is just a couple of people, not everyone is having this issue with me.
I am one of those people, I people watch. I am not some creepy midnight climb-in-your-window-naked type (although if you need me I am available, just not naked). I am fascinated by human behavior, patterns and what motivates people to do what they do. Hence, when I work with people I take a gauge of what they like, don’t like and how they expect my work to look like. It is me trying to be a good employee and coworker, I am only difficult to work with when I get the sense that I am being disrespected or being taken advantage of. With that said, why does it feel like no matter what we do, we are in some way creating a problem?
I had a heart to heart with someone who knows me well. She is very compassionate and patient, much more than I. I illustrated my issue and described instances where I was screamed at, belittled and spoken down to. I was clear and even stated where I thought I may have been wrong. She took a deep breath and looked down, “Ever heard of the word insecurity?”, she almost didn’t want to say it. I knew exactly what she was saying, but I didn’t see the correlation. I wasn’t gunning for someone’s job, I wasn’t making people look bad, if anything I was trying to make sure my work was satisfactory. I pride myself in handing in a good product, in a job that exceeded expectations. I was brought up with a hard work ethic, so it means something when I do things well and it is devastating when they are not.
But my friend had a point, the observer of your hard work can have their insecurities heightened when they are dealing with their own perceived deficiencies. They have a long list or short list of issues that have nothing to do with you but because you are in front of them, they are lashing out at you.
So what do you do? This is a hard one, you may love what you do and so you don’t want to leave. If you don’t, then making an exit plan is that much easier. But if you stay, there has to be a middle ground where you can be at peace. I thought about how to sit down and earnestly express my wanting to have a positive working experience with this person. How would they receive me or my words? Do I just work around them and see if they come around to seeing that I am not a threat? I know I am not the only one that has dealt with this and so I know there are various ways to take this issue on. One thing that I have promised myself that I will so and stay positive and be true to my character. Whereas that people I work with have to respect me, they don’t have to like me. And nothing earns respect better than character and tenacity.
Let’s all stay positive, stay focused and breathe deeply. Big Hugs!