I tend to be very protective of those that I love. Yes, I am the mama bear in my group of loved ones. It is not rare to find one of them being a mama bear to me as well. Problem is that when I see one of my friends being taken advantage of, I don’t keep my mouth shut. I get vocal, perhaps because I know for a fact that people saw me being mistreated and they stayed quiet. Also, because I have been blinded by love and faux friendships. I have been lied to, while being looked in the eyes and “I love you” has been said to me by many a villain. It is crushing to know that you trusted because you had no reason not to, you didn’t see the signs and others did.
Why am I talking about this? I sat across the room the other day at a birthday party, my best friend was celebrating the 1st birthday of her child. I was in awe, I love these people so very much – I am there for them with all I have. I want only the best in health and life for them. My eyes filled with tears because of how very proud and sincerely happy I was for them. After so many tears of pain and struggle, my heart was finally at peace and my prayers had been answered for her.
But on the opposite end of the room was a guest I did not expect to see. I am not going to give her any place here, but I will say that my pressure went up and I had to step away to breathe it out. There are people in your life that stick around in hopes to see you fail, to gloat about how well they are doing when you are tumbling down. At times you will see their behavior and get away from them and at other times you will not realize how loudly they are cheering for your demise. They see you doing well and instead of simply being content for you they will minimize your accomplishment as a stroke of luck instead of recognizing how much you had to bleed to get there. No, to them if they are not on top of the world – no one else can be.
Am I still upset? More like worried. I am concerned of the toxicity that may surround my loved ones and yes, I get protective. All I can do is gently inform my observations in hope that they will see intentions for what they are. We all struggle with this, I have to find the words that will express the right amount of positivity and truth so that I am heard. We all must stay positive and trust that our loved ones will understand our concern is from a place of truth and love. Big Hug!