So there it was, the opportunity that I had been waiting for – hard work was finally recognized. As I was one step closer to my goal, it was suddenly not my dream come true. The cost that came with the made it clear to me that this chance was not for me. Whereas I had a jewel in my hand, I soon realized that it was counterfeit and I was being asked to pay for a genuine article.
It wasn’t for me and I am satisfied with the idea that there is another position out there that is perfect for me. Yes, I am riddled with exhaustion from over working myself. I agree when my colleagues say that I deserve better. When I leave to my perfect corner office, it will be the step my path is supposed to take. Reconciling to this reality doesn’t mean that I am not angry, I can feel the weight of my own stare most days. My back hurts from sitting in a chair that I can’t adjust, my feet are blistered from walking about 5 miles a day at work and my morning commute is becoming less bearable. My resentment for being presented with a fraudulent article swirls in my chest, my face burns at meetings – that is subsiding at time passes. I smile, I try my best to be graceful and I move on.
For now, I will continue to push through – it is the only option. Applying for positions, having my interview suit pressed, keeping my Cross pen nearby are routine for me now. I can go on an interview marathon at this point, asking questions and making on the spot decisions.
When things aren’t going in the direction you want them to, have a moment of reflection. Do I really want this? Is this my next logical step? What am I doing that I am not getting to where I want/need to be? Don’t just go with an offer because it is tempting and appears attractive. Make sure it is where you are supposed to be going. Stay positive and don’t be so hard on yourself. Just don’t give up. Big Hug!