The weight of it sits on my chest, it rests between my ribs and my heart. Deep breaths ease some discomfort but for the most part the sharp pain only dulls when I remind myself of all the good I have in my life. Heavy is the twisted path I have been on with little rest, as I sit in my hospital waiting room – I am finally learning to better manage and even let go of the heavy.
So much has happened for me to be where I am, hard work unrecognized creates poor morale at work. Unfulfilled plans of companionship leads to total withdrawal. And of course, as with everyone – my lack of satisfaction with my personal appearance trails behind me and walks on front of me as well. “Body Positive” doesn’t appeal to me, it is more like “let me be” in my self acceptance. I am 38, I am not seeking approval or permission to be.
At my most raw moments, I (being human) forget to stay positive. But my story and my best friends pull me out the rut. It isn’t how far I left to go, it is how far I have come. So this heavy becomes less when I give it less importance, when I fight to view my failures as a source of inspiration. Every time that I let go of what was never in my grasp, the heavy weighs less. In moments where I see situations adding to the heavy, I am strong enough to walk away. So, stay positive and manage your life circumstances while still living – the heavy won’t be so heavy. Big Hug!