I am not sure what to say anymore. I have my moments, I suppose we are all allowed to be human every now and again. There comes a time where you want what you want and you aren’t in the mood to negotiate, you aren’t available to accept “no” as an answer and you aren’t going to wait for “some day”.
As life starts to fall into place, so much goes into your objectives and the world finally conspires along side you to get you to the goals that you painstakingly have worked for. Right when the pieces fit together ever so snug – other plans start to fall apart. Where do I go from there? Where would you go? As I have gotten older, setbacks are no longer catastrophes – they are a shrug of a shoulder and the acceptance that you don’t win the battles that aren’t for you to win. In my youth it would be a full hurricane of calamity and hives when plans were obstructed. Age has given me prospective and whereas the disappointment takes a small seat in the back of my mind, I continue to build on what is working out.
Truth is, that the moment I started to love myself more than my goals, my plans, my ideas and my hopes – I became dismissive of anything that tried to take me away from loving myself. A game changing moment arrived at my door when I had to make a tough decision, years ago life asked me to take a definitive stance. Many call it selfish, but I decided that there was no one else more important in my life than me. I have been made exhausted by the constant exercise of making people in my life think that I will not walk away. It isn’t giving up, it is sticking up for yourself; drawing a line in stone and providing everything in your life boundaries that no entity is allowed to cross.
We all arrive at a place of exhaustion, it isn’t a point to bring yourself to so that you can finally give up. On the contrary, it is a check point for you to gain insight and rest so that you can continue. Allow yourself that moment, you have earned it. Don’t ever let anyone call it selfish, it is owning your self worth and only allowing your currency to run your life. Big Hug!