As of recently, I have had a lot of irons in the fire. Thanks to this nothing is getting my full attention, there are just small bits of me to spare. That isn’t who I am as a person or who I am to my efforts. However, exhaustion is starting to set in and I have not been performing in a way that I am happy with. So, do I drop some weight so I can continue or do I drop everything and start over? Knowing me, I carry everything until it is done and suffer through it, but I am at a place in life where I don’t have to do that. I have some decisions to make and fast.
We all deal with it, having to admit that what seemed like a good and manageable situation turned out to be more than we could fit into our lives. There has to be something said about the attempt, the will to challenge yourself. I saw something the other day, “You simply don’t deserve the things you won’t go after”, when I read it the first time I must admit that it was harsh. I read it a few more times and the message finally sunk in – you have to go for it. I did, I have been rewarded for the experience and now I have to step back from it. Life has many demands on me, seeking out a second master’s degree isn’t one of them. I opted to do it because I love learning, I love books, I love intellectual classroom discussions and all that is academia. I also love excelling at work and giving my time to those I love – but I spread myself thin and now nothing gets my proper attention.
If I am saying anything, I am saying that it is okay to take a risk and it is for it not to work out. I am learning to be at peace with letting it go – there are better adventures up ahead that I have to preserve my energy for. We can all be at peace with letting go. Big Hug!