I haven’t written in a while, I have been stuck in the current of self healing and reminding myself that there is not guilt in that. So here we are, 42 days until 2020, in the middle of political chaos and internal battles. About a year ago I was getting word of a promotion, I had no idea that I would be where I am emotionally or mentally. It has been a busy year, working 14 hour days, a very broken heart, plans redirected, sleep disturbed and of course growth. I did not see myself where I am today, I could not be happier.
The one thing that I have had to accept is that you have to put yourself first, don’t misunderstand. It isn’t that you are above others, it is that you won’t put the needs of others first in your life. As a Latin woman it is engrained that you are to sacrifice for others, you are to suffer for someone else’s comfort. Those themes run deep in many communities, the idea that as a woman you must endure because it is your role to do so. It is not your role, it is not mine either. Many have attempted to make me feel guilty for standing up for myself and making myself comfortable. I sense no guilt, although I have had insomnia for 20 years now – it isn’t my conscience that keeps me up.
I want you to figure out what your needs are and create a life that supports that. Yes, that means ending some relationships, in that requires you to have the strength to deny certain entities have a place at your table, it begs you eliminate bad habits such as beating yourself up and it needs you to grow. There will be loses, but in order to manifest a life that is filled with true happiness it is what you need to do.
You can do this, big hug!